she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Randomize
