I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize