Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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