I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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