i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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