The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
