so that wasnt chicken after all
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
i think i scared a bird with my dick
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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