I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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