I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize