So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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