she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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