Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
