Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
