Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
