I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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