You can't special order awesome
I need to stop coming to work sober
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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