rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
