everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize