Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
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