I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize