Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
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