If i come over, it means nothing
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
My Sexting was not on an AP level
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I am mentally ready for anal.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
