My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
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