you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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