he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
