i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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