I wannas sexs uuuuu
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
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