Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I need a beard to bite.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
