Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Someone shattered a urinal.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
