You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize
