you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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