I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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