this beer tastes like vomit already
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
