The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
my being single is dangerous.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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