I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
