is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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