Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
