is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
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