just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
