I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Randomize
