honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
