im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
