HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
