I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Is it penis luge time yet?
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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