if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
