Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Just invented taco cereal.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
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