Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I wish you could order shots online.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
