either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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