I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
