Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
