used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I want to fling myself into the sun
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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