dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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