Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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