Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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