do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
im six kinds of drunk right now
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Randomize
