So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
My vagina is officially offended.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
