And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
