pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
