I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize