The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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