i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
