dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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